Out of Chaos an organizing newsletter
The Evolution of a Frugalista
When I was young I loved malls. Really. Adored them. Growing up in the New York City of the ’70s, where all the stores seemed small and gritty, malls were like heaven: air-conditioned, well lit, safe and huge. On one family trip to Florida I begged my dad to drive me to the mall on his way to play golf; he tried to discourage me, but I was resolute. Spending four hours would be no problem, I said, and it wasn’t. I didn’t buy much, though I had quite a bit of money saved up, but the fun was in the possibility, not the purchase.
Then came the ’80s. Shopping was great. I had more black dresses than days of the week. But something annoying kept happening in those high-school and college years: Whenever I told adults that I was planning to be an actress, they would tell me that it was a hard way to make a living and that I wouldn’t be able to have all the creature comforts I had grown up with.
There it is, the ugly truth: I became frugal out of spite.
The more those grown-ups tried to discourage me, the more determined I became that I would be able to live on less. Live, in fact, on art. And water, and perhaps the occasional bagel. In the years that I acted and took various jobs to support myself, I acquired very few possessions. Somehow I made it to the age of 27 without owning a couch or a TV, and I will say, I had a very good time.
I don’t say this to brag; I realize I can go too far. My husband loves to tell my kids about how Spartan my apartment was when he first met me: one table, two chairs, a thin twin futon with no frame and a bookshelf. No TV, no AC, no microwave, no upholstery. He has led me out of Sparta and into America, and I now have all those things and more.
It’s important, I think, to know why you are the way you are. Why do you shop if you shop? Why do you save if you save? Why are you bad at letting stuff go while your twin brother is great at it? It is hard to change a behavior like overbuying until you know why you developed it in the first place. Are you shopping out of boredom, or stress or because you are trying to present a certain image? Why is it painful for you to let stuff go? Once you know why, you can try to redirect those energies, walk instead of shop, give stuff to charity instead of living in clutter.
I’ve evolved: from aspiring mall rat to frugalista to conscious consumer. You can evolve too. Step one is a little bit of self-reflection. So go ahead, tell me: How did you become the shopper/saver/clutterer/hoarder/acquirer that you are today? Post it on my Facebook page and let the evolution begin!