Out of Chaos an organizing newsletter
Plentitude
One thing I love about my job is trying to figure out how each client thinks, because everyone’s idea of what is too much, or what is enough, is different. For example, I might suggest, ever so gently, that perhaps a client doesn’t really need 15 boxes of note cards (especially after she just admitted she rarely writes hand-written notes anymore), and she will look at me as though I’ve sprouted horns. Eventually she’ll give up the free ones that she got for donating to her public television station and I’ll just have to store the remaining 14 boxes as neatly as I can. Meanwhile, another client will toss boxes of monogrammed stationary in a feverish attempt to de-clutter as I look on in horror and wonder if there will be anything left for me to organize when she’s finished.
The point is that people have different set points. Some say they want to de-clutter, but they are really more comfortable surrounded by objects, while for others any visual clutter at all produces anxiety. No matter what we think we want, we usually have an internal barometer that makes us lean one way or the other on the clutter spectrum. However, just because you have a tendency towards clutter (or an aversion to it), doesn’t mean you are doomed. I believe with a little introspection and attention, we can change.
Think about where it might come from: We all have something in our past that affects who we are in the present; the trick is in identifying why we are the way we are. Was your mother a neat freak? Did you not have enough growing up? Are you in a high-risk profession where you are constantly afraid of getting laid off? If you are an uber-minimalist, maybe you grew up in a cluttered home. Or perhaps you suffer from an attention disorder that makes it hard to focus.
The idea is to understand why you have a particular tendency, so you are in a better position to alter it. You might say, I know that I grew up in a family of eight, and it seemed like I never had a new pair of jeans, but really there’s a limit to how many new clothes one person can wear, so I’m going to put these jeans back on the rack and keep walking. And at the same time you might say: A capsule wardrobe is never going to be for me. I grew up with too much restriction, and the fact that I can afford this abundance gives me comfort, and even joy. When someone tries to alter who they are, like when someone who internally craves creature comforts and abundance tries to be a minimalist, they are, in all likelihood headed for frustration and failure. However, when that person makes a more specific and realistic goal, such as I’m going to keep my desk-top clear or I’m not going to buy clothes unless I get rid of an equal amount, they are much more likely to achieve them and sustain a positive change.
What feels like enough to you? What feels like deprivation? Try to challenge your tendencies in tiny ways. You don’t have to completely change who you are, but you can always improve. And that is good enough.