Out of Chaos an organizing newsletter
Decisions, Decisions
I was just reading my friend Samantha Bennett’s excellent book, Start Right Where You Are. She writes that the word decide comes from the Latin de meaning off and cide, meaning to kill. So deciding literally means “to kill off.” Interesting! It gives some context to a lot of talk I’ve been hearing about “executive function,” specifically that people with poor executive function are indecisive. It’s true that for many of my clients, the clutter in their homes is caused by indecision: “Should I donate this sideboard to the Goodwill or try to sell it?” “Am I ever going to look at the notes I took at curriculum night?” “Will I ever be a size 4 again, or is this dress just going to hang there and make me feel bad about myself?” Many people are decisive about work, or about certain areas of their lives while other areas stump them.
So what does all of this have to do with organizing? One of the things I love about my clients is that they are abundance people: They want more, they give more, they have more, they want to throw their arms around all that life has to offer—all of which makes them wonderful people to hang out with. But it makes complete sense that when you are so open to life, you would hate anything that cuts you off or limits your life in anyway. Thus, if every decision is literally “killing off” a possibility, then no wonder decision-making is hard for my clients. It explains why I hear, “Well, I might be able to sell the sideboard.” “I’d like to keep the notes in case I want to look back at them.” “If I give away the dress, it feels like I’ve given up on ever fitting back into it again.”
I get it. I do. I’m a girl who likes to leave my options open. However, I think that there’s something else at play: fear. When I’m decisive, I feel like I am whacking my way through the underbrush (read: camp forms) to get to the important stuff (vacation!). I actually have faith that when I shut one door (I am not selling that sideboard), another one opens. I think the universe is constantly throwing opportunities and possibilities my way, and if I get wrapped up in the minutia I might miss the really great ones.
Clutter is just stuff. It isn’t love, it isn’t your child, it isn’t your friends, so really, it isn’t that important. Just grab my metaphoric weed-whacker and go to town. Be decisive. Don’t be afraid: There will always be another door, another choice and another opportunity coming down the pike, because the universe really is abundant.