Out of Chaos an organizing newsletter

Lost

I hate losing things. As I child, I lost things all the time. I was disorganized, flighty, impulsive and not prone to stopping to consider if I’d been wearing a cardigan before I dashed on to the next thing. But all that loss made me feel out of control, and I didn’t like it.

I was reminded of this today, when my daughter was in a state because she couldn’t find a particular adapter. I tried to reassure her that it would turn up, because she rarely goes anywhere, so it had to be in the house. I asked her brothers if they’d borrowed it. We moved the bed so we could look in the corner. She checked her drawers, her shelves, her pockets. No luck. She was upset.

I understand. Part of my motivation to become an organized person (because, I promise you, I was not born organized), was to know where my stuff was so I’d never have to have that yucky, out-of-control feeling.  I fully believe that it’s always worth the time and effort to establish a particular home for each item and religiously return everything to its home, because it not only saves time in the long run, but it saves stress and makes me feel in control, and I like that.

This week in particular has been a lesson in controlling what you can. There is so much, so, so much, out of my control. So much that is so upsetting. The least I can do for myself and my family is to create an oasis of order. The keys are here, the mugs are here, the towels are there. Dinner is at 6. We’ll be okay.

On Thursday, the owner of our local gym sent out a passionate letter about the state of our country and the state of his business, and used a phrase that I haven’t been able to get out of my head: He talked about “controlling his controllables.” Right. Where you keep your adapter is controllable. I’m confident that my daughter will find her adapter, and she’ll be unlikely to lose it again because she will now consciously make a place that it “belongs.” I know that even in the best of times, there are so many things we can’t control, and the only logical approach to life is to control what you can, your “controllables.”

So look at your home: Figure out what is out of your control, what isn’t. Apartment too small? Join the club. Can never find the wooden spoon? That you can fix. Put your energy into controlling the controllables. Make a place for those items you always lose, declutter the junk that’s hiding the stuff you need. You’ll feel better, and with all that energy you’re not pouring into looking for your keys/adapter/navy cardigan, you can protest, pray, or do some yoga, because a big exhale might be the very best way of letting go right now.