Out of Chaos an organizing newsletter
Don’t be too Rigid
Sometimes clients expect me to be stricter than I am. I understand that impulse: I used to be much stricter with myself in all sorts of areas. The problem was all that rigidity resulted in being disappointed in myself rather than a lot of going to the gym and eating healthy. Moreover, being rigid–Children must be in bed by 8 p.m.; I can’t have people over on weeknights; I only wear black, white and grey; I always serve soup on Thanksgiving; I can’t buy this gift, it’s not made in the USA— ended up closing me off to opportunities.
People often ask what kind of organizer I am. They want to know if I subscribe to the Kondo method, if I’m a minimalist, how strict I am. I tell them that I’m flexible and I customize my approach to the individual, but in my head I say, “I’m the been-around-the-block organizer.”
Over the past 17 years, I’ve learned that people need compassion and creativity more than they need a drill sergeant or the Container Store. We are all fallible, me most of all, and true success lies not in a nearly empty closet and a color-coded calendar, but in the ability to roll with whatever punches life sends your way. Yes, we need structure and guidelines, but if they are too rigid they shut us off from creative solutions: If I walk across Central Park instead of taking the cross-town bus I won’t need to carry gym clothes; skip the soup and you can go for a hike with the family on Thanksgiving.
Yes, I want people to be diligent about opening their mail every day and staying out of stores, because developing good habits makes life so much simpler. But being inflexible is no way to live: Stay open, keep trying to improve, and don’t beat yourself up. Remember, you don’t want to be organized for a day, you want to be organized forever, and in the long run, being creative and flexible will serve you better than being strict and unyielding.