Out of Chaos an organizing newsletter
What Mommy Really Wants for Mother’s Day
Mother’s day falls on the 13th this year, observed as always on the second Sunday of May. It may surprise you to learn this, but The Perfect Daughter’s mother did not approve of Mother’s Day. She thought it was a holiday to alleviate one’s guilt for taking mother for granted all year long. And in my early motherhood, I concurred, preferring daily worship to a single day of brunch. But I’ve had twins, mellowed and become less dogmatic. Still, must I really sit in bed and wait for the waffles with half a month’s worth of maple syrup? The flowers, the – heaven forbid – tchotkes.
Oh, don’t get me wrong. It is wonderful to be loved, even in most pat, commercial expressions. But what do we really want on Mother’s Day? What I really long for most, and this maybe true of everyone in Manhattan, not just mothers, is time and quiet.
But how to package that? I imagine my children shopping in Target. Which aisle buys mama time and quiet, Mr. Wizard? (Bath salts? Xanax?) The truth is that quiet time doesn’t have to be a Mother’s Day Mirage, that thing you silently long for on your special day.
Getting time to yourself is about carving out little slivers of time (remember issue #22?). Often times I’m with a client and we realize that the problem with her unsorted desk is not that she can’t do it- it’s that she has been trying to do it while her children are awake. Kids create chaos; that is what we love about them, but trying to process paperwork as children draw on your to-do list can feel like sweeping the beach. Organizationally speaking, just as there is a place for every thing, so, too, is there a time for every task.
Recently my older son and I have worked out a deal that gets me an uninterrupted half hour on the computer. He is not allowed to play with the Xbox (that he bought himself) until his brother and sister are asleep, so he waits until they are in bed. Once I’ve finished with stories for the twins, I come out and sit at my desk and work. Believe me, he doesn’t interrupt me. He only has half an hour. I’ve found that a finite amount of time is always more efficient than a huge chunk of time.
So, if the Perfect Daughter can give you advice on Mother’s Day, it is this: Don’t even TRY to work on your computer or at your desk while your kids are around. Be present with your children and savor those moments together. For as soon as they are asleep, you will be ten times more efficient! Oh, and did I mention, by focusing on them totally- you will be able to get them to bed much earlier.
Remember, this Mother’s Day, whether you are a mother or not, look for a place where you can carve out a little peace and quiet.
Save a Tree- and your desk!
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