Out of Chaos an organizing newsletter
Is Control the Antidote to Anxiety?
When I was growing up on the upper west side of Manhattan, there was a store called West Town House. I loved to go in there and browse. Why, I don’t know. It was mostly housewares and I was a child, I didn’t have a house.
West Town House is where I first saw Kartell’s round, stacking storage cubes, which I thought were so cool. West Town House had nifty little plastic boxes in rainbow colors and Lucite drawers for your hair accessories. Occasionally, I bought my mother a birthday gift there, but mostly I just browsed. I have a distinct memory of being in there with my little sister; I was probably 13 and she was probably 7. I said, “I love this place” and she said, “Yeah, it’s so organized.” Out of the mouths of babes.
I remembered that moment recently while I was reading Decoding the New Consumer Mind: How and Why We Shop and Buy by Kit Yarrow. Yarrow says, “The antidote to anxiety is control.” She explains that our screen-addicted world is actually making us more anxious; we skate from smart phone to Facebook to Netflix with less and less contact with other human beings. Though we think we like the ease of texting and mailing helps us keep our boundaries, the opposite is true. We never stop working and we never really connect. Worse, marketers are slickly cashing in on this creeping angst by creating online shopping experiences that make us feel like we are in control. Our anxiety temporarily dissipates when feel efficient and masterful: I got everything on my list in 10 minutes, and used my coupon and I got it on sale! Talk about a vicious cycle.
This is also why people love the Container Store. You go in there and you just know your life is going to be better. All those boxes, so many ways to contain the chaos of your life. Such soothing colors. Such excellent displays. You have a credit card. You can buy that stuff and you will be master of your universe.
But the Container Store can’t fix you, neither can West Town House, nor can shopping online. It is an illusion. Put down the credit card. Put down the smartphone. Take a deep breath, look someone in the eye.
We have too much stuff. We buy too much stuff. This week fight the good fight: Try to connect with human beings instead of shopping-and exchanging pleasantries with the cashier does not count. If you have to shop, make a list and stick to it-because that, my friends, is an art worth mastering.