Out of Chaos an organizing newsletter
Getting Your House In Order
“Cleanliness is a state of purity, clarity and precision.” So says Suze Orman in her new book, Women & Money. She lists cleanliness as one of the eight qualities of a wealthy woman. I was thrilled, though not surprised when I read that. I know that for me, order is essential to creating the clarity I need to move to the next level in any area of my life. Chaos can be a form of self-sabotage while order represents self-respect.
Recently, my client Bettijane and I were discussing chaos and she told me part of the Jewish creation story: The Rabbis said that man is born with two instincts: the yetzer ha-rah and the yetzer ha-tov. Rah means evil and tov means good. All life is a struggle to balance these two forces, but without the evil (or creative) instinct, people would not marry, build houses or have children. The yetzer ha-rah can, of course, lead to chaos or worse if it is unchecked. But it can also act as a creative force if properly channeled.” What I love about this story is the role it gives to chaos. Unlike the message of some creation stories, in this case chaos is not something to be crushed or even overcome, but worked with. Browsing in Barnes & Noble with this story in mind, I found various interesting references to chaos. In a book called Creation: Artists, Gods and Origins, author Peter Conrad traces the etymology of the language in Genesis and suggests that in early versions what we now translate at “create” was closer to hew or engrave than “make”, implying that chaos is a material to be structured, not an enemy to be vanquished. I also loved the Rabbi Irwin Kula, who in his book, Yearnings, talks about a revelation he had while looking at his teenage daughter’s room. He suddenly saw that the “mess” represented her abundance and exuberance rather than a moral failing. Certainly this is true of many of my clients, which is why they are so fun to be around!
But to get back to Suze Orman’s point about cleanliness: How do we impose order, structure or, as Suze puts it, precision, without killing our exuberance?
Well, let’s look at children. We want our children to be creative and exuberant within a structure of order that makes them feel safe and keeps them from feeling overwhelmed.
Usually, we do this by establishing a physical structure (a place for everything) and a time structure (playtime and cleanup time). Within those parameters, we can allow chaos and its attendant creativity to have their way.
Now, you may be wondering how this relates to the pile of paper on your desk. First, ask yourself if you have a structure? A system? A filing cabinet? When each piece of paper arrives at your home, does it have a path to follow? Lately we’ve been reading a lot of Dr. Seuss at my house. The Cat in the Hat is one of my all-time favorites. I love the spontaneous, even destructive and dangerous fun the Cat brings, but even better, I like the end where, like a good Shakepearean comedy, order is restored, where the Cat, in his contraption and with his pals Thing One and Thing Two, put everything away, and then exit themselves.
For many people, order is restored when the chaos becomes debilitating—when second notices start arriving or an important paper gets lost. This is too late: order needs to be restored at night, before bed. Even if you don’t have a chance to handle all the papers that come in during the day, they need to be sorted into appropriate piles: To Pay, To Do, To File or some variation thereof. If the piles are orderly, and you know what is in them, you’ll sleep better, you’ll be more efficient, and ultimately you will save time.
So, to create order we need structure and rhythm: A time to go out and drum up new business, and a time to schedule that business. A time to throw the toys all around the house and a time to pick them up and put them in their (clearly labeled) bins.
There is a Yin/Yang to Chaos/Control that I love. Without the chaos there would be no need for order; without Chaos there would be nothing.