Out of Chaos an organizing newsletter
Heirs & Heirlooms
I always ask clients, “What’s the end use?” When you are organizing and creating storage systems it’s important to think about the goal. Sometimes it’s obvious, like being able to access your sweaters. Sometimes it’s trickier, like where to keep the information on high schools that you won’t need for two years, but you don’t want to forget. The trickiest of all is heirlooms. The very word is loaded and brings up anxiety about death and money. And every situation is unique.
Recently I was working with a woman who has no children and no siblings, the “end of the line” as it were. On the one hand, she wanted to keep certain memories of her parents, but on the other hand, she was free to let a lot go. She was under no obligation to keep stuff for her kids or a sister. She had only herself to please, so she kept only the things she really loved.
Many of my clients have one child, which can make saving heirlooms both simpler and more challenging. One client was very clear about her college-age daughter’s aesthetic, and knew certain heirlooms were too “fussy” for her daughter to ever want, so she was able to let them go. However, another client with an apartment full of family treasures, felt disappointed that even if her daughter liked the antiques, she’ll probably never have room for them all.
Similarly, having multiple children has upsides and pitfalls. I personally hope that at least one of my three children (or their spouses) will want the family silver, but I also feel impelled to make sure everything’s divided up evenly on paper, so there’s no fighting about my grandmother’s ring. Moreover, I feel that even if my kids aren’t interested in our family history now, I should probably hang onto the genealogy and some pictures of the “ancestors,” because if they have children, they may become interested.
No one likes thinking about death. But you can’t take it with you, and thinking long-term may help you crystalize whether you need to keep something, or if it’s okay to just let it go.