Out of Chaos an organizing newsletter

This is Hard

I try to be a positive, proactive person. I always try in my newsletters to offer inspiration and constructive tips on how to combat all manner of chaos and clutter.

But this week, I just need to say: This Is Hard.

I strongly believe in habit and structure, and those things are keeping me sane. Sitting still is not my forte, which has been more of an advantage in adulthood than it was in middle school. I’m happier when I have a project, so I’m making photo albums and getting to other not-really-important-but-nice things on my to-do list. Yet, I also need to go gently. I need to acknowledge for my kids, and my husband and for myself: Sheltering in place is hard. What is happening in our city, our country and our world is sad.

If you are sad—and aren’t we all?—or if your kids are struggling, as a lot of kids are, you might just need to be in that for a bit, rather than try to ignore it or power through.

Denial takes a lot of energy. Hewing to our (completely arbitrary) schedules at the expense of acknowledging how we feel, is exhausting. I don’t know about you, but in my family, when we are exhausted, we are more emotional, which doesn’t help our productivity at all. So, denial, which might seem efficient in a stiff-upper-lip kind of way, isn’t really efficient at all.

You might have to put down the schedule, log out of your zoom meeting, abandon your photo album, and cry. Or sit on the bed and do French homework with your daughter. Because logic and efficiency alone aren’t going to get us through this. Zen master Thich Nhat Hanh says you have to acknowledge your emotions, but not roll around in them. By acknowledging our sadness, our fear, and our anger, we can move through them and get back to doing the things that we know will help us (exercise, structure, healthy food). But we can’t get there if we are in denial. So let yourself feel whatever it is you are feeling today.

All the things we need to do will be there tomorrow, or next week. But the tears we need to shed, and the moments that our loved ones need us, those are now.