Out of Chaos an organizing newsletter

Friction

It seems like I’m constantly being told things are better when they’re “frictionless.” Your shopping experience, your Uber ride, your take-out order all should be cash-free and require a minimum of human interaction.

But I say, what’s wrong with a little friction? Where there is friction, there is spark. Think Benedict and Beatrice. Think of boy scouts rubbing sticks together. Think of teen-agers before the pill. And weirdly, friction can make things smoother: emery boards on your nails, sand paper on wood, sand and water on beach glass.

I like friction, and I’m suspicious of commerce being too easy. When I started my business 20 years ago, my clients were buying too much, but they had to schlepp to Laytner’s and Bloomingdales to do it. Maybe they called Garnet Hill. It was easy enough, not too stressful, but certainly not frictionless, and they still managed to acquire too much.

A little friction is a good thing. Friction slows you down (brakes!). A while back, I read about someone who always waits 24 hours before completing a purchase online. Someone else never saves his credit cards online, so he is forced to always re-enter the numbers. These are ways of creating a bit of friction, slowing down the speed of consumption, and building in a little window, when you could decide, “Nah, I don’t want it that much.”

I understand the desire for smooth and easy transactions, especially during the pandemic. But I think we need to question it. Where is our humanity if we never even speak to the Starbucks barista? Will there be no more garrulous cabbies? No more intimidating bra saleswomen? Do we all want to retreat to our Instagram-able pods and never interact again? I hope not.

Make no mistake, our current world isn’t as frictionless as we think. There’s friction between Uber and taxicab unions, and I’ll bet the Foxcon worker making your iPhone doesn’t have a frictionless life. Just because your experience is frictionless, it doesn’t mean we are living in some automated utopia.

So, embrace friction. Make a spark: Talk to a person, create some obstacles between you and your next online purchase. Who knows? You might laugh, you might make a friend, you might save a few dollars—and even if none of those things happen, you may feel more connected and more alive just because you tried.