Out of Chaos an organizing newsletter
Who Do You Think You Are?
Uncharacteristically, I spent much of yesterday trying to buy a dress for a special occasion. It was exhausting and unsuccessful, and it made me think about a few things.
Since most of us have our clothing needs well covered, when we shop we are doing a whole lot of things that have nothing to do with covering our nakedness and protecting ourselves from the elements. We are shopping out of desire, because things are beautiful and we covet them. We are shopping because we get a thrill when we shop. We are shopping because it is an activity we enjoy doing with a particular friend or family member. Shopping can be a creative act: creating an image of yourself using the clothes as a costume. Of course clothing companies know this and make reinvention part of their advertising campaigns.
We are all many things: We can be fun and classy and practical, but a dress is a two-dimensional object. No matter how great it is (Adrianna Papell tea-length dress with pockets!) it is still only a dress. So when we choose a dress, or any item of clothing, we are generally making a statement, however subtle, about who we are.
This is how shopping gets ruined for me (and this could be useful for some of you, for whom shopping is way too fun); I start out looking for a dress and I end up riding up escalators pondering the existential question: Who am I?
Am I practical? Should I just get the inexpensive black dress? Or do I want to be vampy while I still can? Or do I want to be classy, because I do love a ladylike dress? No matter which dress I choose, I feel like I am shutting doors on variations of me. And I think, well, maybe I am feeling vampy today, but maybe I’ll be feeling ladylike on the night of the party. I can see how people end up with two dresses when they only went searching for one. But in my case, I am more likely to end up with no dress at all.
Here’s the thing: It is just like the grocery store. You can’t go in without a plan. You need to say, I am getting one solid cardigan to wear to work. It can be red or it can be black. But I don’t need red and black. Nor do I need a cardigan with adorable birds embroidered on it. I just need one simple cardigan because sometimes they turn the AC up so darn high.
You need to think: This is a business event, and so I need to be my ladylike self or This is a party and I want a dress that will be great to dance in. Shopping just to shop is dangerous. There are so many possible yous sitting on that rack. Many of them 50% off.
So do me a favor, don’t shop without a list and don’t shop without a plan. And ask the existential questions before you go, because trust me, the escalator at Macy’s is no place for an existential crisis.