Out of Chaos an organizing newsletter
I Wanna Be a Yes-Girl
I’m tired of saying “No.” “No, you can’t play video-games all night.” “No, you shouldn’t keep that holey sweater, even if you love it.” “No, it isn’t possible to have the suitcase, the toolbox and the air mattress at the front the closet, something has to go in back.”
In my heart I’m a “Yes!” person: “Yes, I can write a book.” “Yes, I’ll run for the PTA!” “Yes, I can find a way to integrate your tin box collection.” “Yes, you can have a music studio in your bedroom.” Yes!
I don’t want to be mean, or limiting or unimaginative. You know me, you know I can be creative and solution oriented. But creativity still has to function within the bounds of reality. The most magical of stage effects still subscribe to the laws of physics and gravity.
I can’t make twenty sweaters fit into one drawer, but I can help you learn to reframe the issue. The focus shouldn’t be, “No, you can’t keep that sweater.” It should be, “Yes, I am achieving my goal of having all my sweaters fit into my dresser!” It isn’t, “I have to let go of all my unread New Yorkers and Atlantics,” it’s “Yes, I can see my coffee table for the first time in years!”
If the news media has taught us anything, it’s that there are always at least two ways to spin a story, and I’m currently working on spinning my “Nos” into “Yeses.” My son may not be fooled when I turn, “No more video games” into “Let’s play Stratego!” but I think we’ll all be relieved if I can stop saying “No”… or at least cut back.
So what can you reframe? What disappointment can you spin into success? What negative can you turn into a positive? We always read that children respond better to positive discipline: Sometimes you’ve got to spin it to win it.