Out of Chaos an organizing newsletter
To Resolve or Not To Resolve
So, New Year’s Day has come and gone, and some of us have already let go of the resolutions we have made. But we made them, didn’t we? Effort counts with Amanda! As I am in the business of helping people improve their ways I have (surprise, surprise) a few opinions on New Year’s resolutions.
In my twenties, I was prone to making too many resolutions and very ambitious ones at that. I was bound to fail. Later, I took a more Zen-like approach and gave up New Year’s resolutions or any resolution beginning on a Monday. I tried instead to do the best on any particular day. And oddly enough, I was a more effective resolver when I simply resolved rather than resolved to resolve.
The Perfect Daughter can tell you that change is not easy, but it is not impossible! The secret to successful resolutions is that there is no secret other than defining, planning and delivering. We cannot wish ourselves right anymore than we can wish for a deserted cross-town bus during rush hour. Here is some advice to get on with it:
1) Do only one resolution at a time. Stick with it for 30 to 90 days. Once it is firmly ingrained, move on to your next goal.
2) Be realistic. If your house looks like a scene from Hoarders (naturally, not any of my clients), don’t resolve to have it perfect by President’s Day. Instead, plan to spend a half hour every day methodically working on it. It may not be perfect this month, but you may be happily surprised when St. Patrick’s Day rolls around and you see that you have actually made deep, perhaps lasting, changes.
3) If and when you slip, don’t quit. Setbacks are part of the process. Learn what triggers your failings. Did you work late? Were you hungry? Was your child sick? Falling down is part of the process. Just get back up.
Recently someone asked me if I believed in setting goals. I do. Always have. Proof: Nightingale yearbook, senior year quote: If you aim at the highest place, it is no shame to stop at the second, or even the third — Cicero.
See – I aim! I don’t expect perfection but I get up every morning and try. I often think back to a long-ago conversation I had with of one of my mentors, Allison McRae, who, co-owned the temp agency I worked for when I was right out of college. Allison had just been to a career-building seminar where the focus was making five-year plans.
“I don’t know, Amanda,” she said looking unconvinced in her power suit. “If you had asked me five years before I got involved in this business what my goals were, it never would have occurred to me that I was going to own a temp agency. It was just an opportunity that presented itself and I took it.”
At this moment, my business mentor was saying what acting teachers had been telling me for years: Stay alive to the moment. Don’t be so focused on a future goal that you miss the great opportunity right in front of you.
My goals for 2013 are simple: Do Sun Salutation every morning. And should I miss a day, I will not berate myself. I will stay open and alert to opportunities and possibilities by remembering that every day is new, not just January first.
Happy New Year!