Out of Chaos an organizing newsletter

Needs and Wants

I’ve frequently explained to my kids about the difference between needs and wants, as in, “Mommy buys food because we need to eat. You don’t need Pokémon cards, you want them.” Since my children are saucy and smart, the next time we’d go to the grocery store one of them would say, “You have to get me Trix yogurt, because it’s food, and I need food.” Tricky little buggers.

I’m pretty sure you are just as capable as a six year old at justifying purchases that are actually wants rather than needs: The things you buy because the old ones are “worn out” but not so worn out that you actually throw them away; the elaborate workout gear you get because you need to get into shape, but when I pull it out of the back of the closet, it’s usually still in the original wrapping and dusty.

I understand. It’s hard to walk down the street, open a magazine, or turn on the television without being assaulted by images of perfection that make us think we need things so that we, too, can lead beautiful lives. And let’s not even talk about Instagram.

For many years, there has been talk about how young girls shouldn’t be looking at Vogue and Harper’s because it filled them with unrealistic ideas of what they should look like. I’m here to tell you that Houzz and Elle Décor maybe the Vogue and Harper’s of middle age. It might be healthier all around to abstain.

Even before the Internet, catalogs would arrive (daily!) in the mail to fill you with desires for things you didn’t need, but seemed so appealing in the pictures. Sheets and baby gear and coats you can wear three ways—it was all just a phone call away. I realized early on that those catalogs not only made me want stuff I didn’t need, but they also created a lot of paper waste, so I got myself off all of those lists. Today, you get a barrage of daily emails from Pottery Barn, Crate & Barrel, Bed Bath & Beyond, all of them. Fortunately, hitting the unsubscribe button is easy and gets near instant results.

We’re up against a lot, so ask yourself what tiny tweak you can make to avoid coveting things you don’t really need. Walk down a different street to bypass the clothing store that always lures you in. Let your subscriptions lapse. Mark alerts from Everlane as junk—or just unsubscribe. Stop the catalogs from Garnet Hill and Lafayette 148. Remember, they’re still just a click away when you need them, but you can control the contact, not be at the whim of their constant marketing.

We need way less than we want, so do yourself a favor and remove some of your “triggers.” You’ll be glad you did. You may not even notice.